I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
two words: eviction party
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
