but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if only i could text you this smell
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
