I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
