You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
