They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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