What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
