just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
