dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
