my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
