used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize