pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
