Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Less talking, more tequila
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
