I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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