How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
