once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I need to calm my uterus...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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