Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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