currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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