Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
its liver damage thursday
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
