i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
