He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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