I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We are all done wearing pants today
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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