Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
