do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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