Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
