PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I am one with the molecules
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
