Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
