Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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