im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize