I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you never un-have a 4some
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
