I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
