38 yer olds are good kisserssss
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I want her autograph on my taint
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize