Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
