I can tuck mytits in my pants
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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