He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize