Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
