rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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