she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
