shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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