Whoa Z and x make the same sound
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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