is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Randomize
