My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Randomize
