If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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