I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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