we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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