even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize