I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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