What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
