finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
And then my night got REAL pukey
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
