i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
