Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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