ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
