i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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