Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
