I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
