I wanna bring you to show and tell
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
