Do vagina's smell?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize